Friday, January 8

"I miss your husband. Try to trick him into calling me sometime. Just go on his phone and replace his brother's contact information with mine. Then one day he'll say, 'Say, I ought to call my brother, Conrad Peters, today. I better use my cell phone. Where is it? Oh, here we are. Just finding his name in my list of contacts. Boy, I know a lot of people. Okay, I've found his name. I'm pressing the green button shaped like a telephone call. Cough cough. Ring. I like to say 'ring' when the- ring. Uh, when the phone rings. Ri- oh, hello. This is Richie Peters. May I speak to Conrad Peters? Is he available to talk right now? I need to talk to him about some important family affairs, and I should do so immediately. I really can't be dilly-dallying with any sort of trivial nonsense, so I'll ask once more. Is Conrad Peters at home, and may I speak to him on his landline telephone-line?' And then I'll say, 'I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number.' Then I'll play a slide whistle, summarizing his error musically. Thanks to you, it would be like an egg came all over his face."

©2015 Neil Pohl & Thomas Deming-Henes